My winter break so far

My winter break so far I flew back home on the eighteenth with hopes of having a productive break. I made plans to paint, work out, write, study, and a whole other slew of things. Unfortunately, my break didnt exactly go according to plan. On December 20th, I went to Raymonds birthday party with Emma. Five of the eight people in crabmeats are from southern California so we made sure we would see each other over break. On the 23rd I met up with a couple of good friends from high school Ethan, Harsheta, and Xerxes. We chatted and caught up, telling each other about our shenanigans at our respective colleges. For the 24th and 25th, I spent time at the house. I saw my cousin, a senior at USC, and we caught up. She said shed be visiting Boston later in January and would love to meet up with me. I told her about my internship worries and woes, boy troubles, and so on. As someone who grew up without siblings, my cousins were the closest things I had to a brother and a sister. It was really nice to be able to just sit down and talk about my college experience to someone who had been through it already. On the 26th, I drove into LA for the first time! I had  been before, but Id never drove there myself. I drove to Santa Monica to see Emma and we spent the day together at the Promenade. She showed me all her old hangout spots she frequented throughout high school. Later, we met up with Raymond and some of his friends from back home for sushi. Worst mistake of my life. We had 50+ orders of sushi, which is roughly about 400+ pieces of sushi split among 5 people. I never want to see another piece of sushi again in my life. For the days since then, Ive been in a bit of a rut. Ive been freaking out a lot about internships. Being a comparative media studies and computer science major withno computer science experience? has been a little bit disheartening, to say the very least. I look around at my friends like Aiden and Raymond who already have a lot of accomplishments under their belt, whether that be from their past robotics competitions or their own CS projects. But when I look at the things Ive done, its a bit of an empty canvas. Theyre not wrong I do work three jobs. But they have little to no relevance to the fields I want to enter. In the past couple of days, Ive looked for more media based internships, since thats a field I have some (see: very little) experience in. Ive also been continuing my major crisis, realizing I want to find some way to combine my interest in media, computer science, biology, chemistry, finance, and design into one cohesive degree but most likely cant. The past couple of days have been a series of whispering quiet pleas to my empty room, begging for some magical being up above to give me an internship that Ill love and enjoy, staring at the FireRoad app as I try and fit all of my interests into a schedule with dying, and searching endlessly for an ounce of motivation to do the things I actually need to do. I thought writing this blogpost would be a good start, since I dont want to break my streak of at least a blogpost a week. [Speaking of blogging, I really wanted to thank anyone whos made it this far in the post and to the people who consistently read every single one of my blogposts. I remember at an EC party I went to, these two girls from BC walked up to me and hysterically told me that they read my blogs and it was one of the most memorable and craziest moments of my life. I am extremely touched by anyone who takes the time to read these posts, especially since I use this platform as a journal of sorts to keep track of my time here at MIT. I do receive every e-mail you send me, and if I dont reply, Im sorry! Sometimes I forget to reply. But I do read them. I even have a couple of the really sweet messages saved. My friends are also really thankful, too. Sometimes the blogs go a bit to their heads. They like being mentioned and like trying to squeeze their way in. Ive told them they can write guestposts but theyre too lazy to write. Anyway, detour ending now.] After this Im hopefully going to get some of these things done: finish writing my article for  The Tech craft some New Years Resolutions and prep my bullet journal for 2020 and January write a blog about these resolutions and take some bullet journal pics go through the 6.0001 (Intro to Python) lectures to prepare myself for 6.145 (IAPs version of 6.0001) get my UROP training done I got a UROP at MITs Education Arcade! Funnily enough, its the same UROP Mimi and Rona worked on. I tweeted about this earlier this week. Its really strange how the world works. I remember the exact moment I read this blogpost by Mimi, ignoring my AP Lit teacher to watch Mimis experiment in Unity. So crazy that Im working for the exact same people now. But, anyway, for the UROP I have to complete training for Social and Behavioral research. I was planning to kill two birds with one stone and try and take notes in LaTeX because my friends have been getting on my case for not knowing how to use it. Im hoping my internship woes quiet soon. They flare up every so often, but Im usually able to ease them by talking to crabmeats. But, since crabmeats arent here right now, its been a bit harder to get rid of my insecurities. I also have the Miss Massachusetts Teen Pageant01 Im a contestant in the pageant! I joined it on sort of a whim because I wanted just a fun experience and Im kind of excited. coming up on January 11 and 12 so Ive been prepping for that! I bought my dress and am planning to go on a huge shopping spree on Newbury when I get back. Ive been balancing all these worries, from internships to pageant preparation to teaching myself Python, without actually doing anything and its been kind of exhausting. Ive been in a strange state of perpetual stress, despite being on winter vacation. But then my friend sent me a tweet from none other than the ever iconic Eugene Lee Yang02 One of my idols. I wrote multiple essays about him when I was told to write about a role model. Hes a member of the YouTube group The Try Guys. Hes one of the reasons I found the courage to pursue media studies in college. Seeing his art fills my heart with so much joy and inspiration. I love him a lot. : Yesterday, I slept at 4:30AM and rolled out of bed at 5:30PM. I felt like shit about myself, feeling like I wasted yet another day being unproductive and useless. But reading this tweet honestly made me feel so much better. I realize Ive been doing nothing wrong this entire break, because there is no wrong way to spend your break. A break is a break for a  reason. And if youre looking for some sign telling you to drop your worries and your stresses because its vacation, here is that sign! Happy break yall. Spend it wisely, and  take a break!!! Post Tagged #ive been wanting to do a creative artsy post but unsure how to approach it #sorry my posts have been kind of lackluster lately I'm a contestant in the pageant! I joined it on sort of a whim because I wanted just a fun experience and I'm kind of excited. back to text ? One of my idols. I wrote multiple essays about him when I was told to write about a role model. He's a member of the YouTube group The Try Guys. He's one of the reasons I found the courage to pursue media studies in college. Seeing his art fills my heart with so much joy and inspiration. I love him a lot. back to text ?